So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
