i just google imaged poop.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
