I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
