There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
