maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Even my vagina gasped.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
