So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
