Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
