alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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