Soap is not a condiment
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
