areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
