And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
