David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
