I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
