Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it's like iHOP with fire
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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