this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
they need to just BURY HIM!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
