Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
