no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
