Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
