I'm really into asian looking animals
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Randomize
