Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
