You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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