Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
