I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i think my cat just said my name.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
