I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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