Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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