Pappa wants mamma naked
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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