That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
