Well douche your snatch and let's go!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
