Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
