So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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