I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
