Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
