if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
