well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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