just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
