Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
