You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
