oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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