yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
