He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
