What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
