the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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