and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
