Small penises have feelings too.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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