You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
