I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
