one might say we're banned from that church
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
