yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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