toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
