Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
