so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
