Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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