Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
